I self harmed and I don’t even remember doing it. I fell asleep and when I woke up all I could see what blood everywhere and I’m freaking out because this isn’t supposed to be happening again, I’m supposed to be done with that it hasn’t happened in almost three years so why the fuck is it happening now. My left arm is like numb and tingling and I think I nicked a vein on a couple of them because it just won’t stop bleeding and I’m just sitting in my window at 2 am hyperventilating and chain smoking
Like… so I’m not with him, or dating him, or anything with him, so I shouldn’t care what he does right? right?
it shouldn’t bother me when I find out he’s sleeping with other people. new people he’s never slept with before.
ok. officially time to kill any feelings I might have growing for him. cuz not a single part of me missed the feeling of wanting to cry because of a guy. fuck this shit. fuck it straight to fucking hell.
So my ex, Miguel, who tore my heart out, and subjected me to a shitton of emotional and mental abuse for almost all of our 4 1/2 month relationship, just decided to message me on facebook, and inform me that he “misses me”
i want to break things
I’m not even sure how to process that. I feel bad for her. That’s gotta be disappointing
you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time
My little brother and sister are cuddling with me tonight and that’s adorable and sweet but it means I can’t go through tumblr while they’re awake because I don’t want porn to pop up :I fuck
so i knew that the chance of him coming back was super low because of how late it is, but i’m still… really disappointed? :(
So the boy was in town, and messaged me that he wanted to see me, so of course I was all “hell yeah come see me I want to see your adorable face”. So we ended up cuddling and shit until he had to leave and
it was just
i liked it too much.
like I feel so calm and happy when I’m with him?
most people would probably be like “fuck yeah look at me being happy this is a good thing” but idk man. bad things tend to happen when I get happy and i don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to picking out dude friends? So I’m super worried about getting my heart ripped out again which would be no bueno at all :(
Plus he’s one of my best friends so I really don’t want anything unhappy happening between us because that’d make me really sad and just… idk.
he asked me about some of the status’s i’ve been posting on facebook lately. none of them mention a name but they’re all about a dude and they make it pretty clear that I’m hardcore into this dude.
he totally called that they were about him.
feelings are bad. feelings are bad. feelings are bad.
but at the same time he mentioned that he might come back later to cuddle and like… i got really excited? i really want him too :( but it’s really late so i doubt it will happen.
fuck feelings man.
I switched tabs in the middle of an anime, because I forgot it wasn’t in english and got confused when I didn’t understand what was going on.
I’ve seen the post but it’s never happened to me before really.
What. What is wrong with me.
Now I just sit here wondering what he’s dreaming about, or if he’s even asleep yet, and missing the feeling of his arms around me when we lay together.
its his fault